25 Things No One Tells a New Mom But She Should Absolutely Know

Parenting can be hard and as you try to raise a decent human being amidst insomnia and sore nipples, here’s a quick look at certain truths you can’t miss out on. Remember, a little humor along the way will only make your mamahood much more joyful.

25 Things No One Tells a New Mom But She Should Absolutely Know

1. The time that you have stepped in to take a shower is precisely the time your baby will cry the loudest and is the most hungry

2. Netflix and Chill become Noflix and Child

3. Anxiety becomes your middle name

4. Every day you’ll think I’ll do the pending work tomorrow only to see that list getting longer

5. You feel like playing with your munchkin when they are asleep and putting them to sleep when they are playing

6. You’ll realize there are bigger attention-seeking machines than your husbands

7. The phrase “Man Proposes, God disposes” no longer is relevant as it becomes “Man Proposes, Baby Disposes”

8. Tragedy will strike your house if you wash your little one’s mouth after food

9. You have done no parenting if you haven’t changed a diaper just minutes after changing one

10. No one can be as cruel as you asking your baby to sleep

11. When you step out of the house for work or some me-time you’ll have a great urge to do a video call to see them

12. You only make a to-do list so you can ignore it

13. You’ll surprise yourself at the number of things you can do with only one hand

14. The last bite of a banana is always for you to eat

15. Don’t let their size fool you into thinking about the space they’ll occupy on your bed

16. You wouldn’t have wished for anything more than wanting your baby to be specific when they are crying

17. You’ll lose count of the number of times you have to play Peek-a-boo

18. The lullaby to put your little one to sleep seems to work better for you.

19. Chewing on a doormat is always is a better choice than the healthy food you are trying to feed.

20. The last time you could peacefully watch a sunset while sipping something was when your little one was inside your tummy. The next time will be after 500,000 years.

21. Baby going from a wide grin to a loud wail is faster than the speed of light

22. You’ll lose half your hair to hormones and the other half will be pulled by your baby

23. It’s a herculean task to put a sleepy baby to sleep

24. Baby’s nails take exactly 30 seconds to grow back to their razor sharpness after being cut

25. Twenty minutes between putting them to bed and they sleeping feels like 200 hours

And despite all the madness, I wouldn’t want to have parenting any other way.

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