You're Doing Just Fine!

I was restless that night, tossing and turning in my bed. It was the second time that I awoke from my sleep feeling agitated.

Earlier in the day, since I was facing some technical issues with my blog, I had wanted to change the platform. I opened my blog and saw the total number of articles I had written and I was sort of upset. Of course, I hadn’t penned down too much.

Also, when the lock down was announced there was a lengthy list of things I wanted to do and regular writing definitely popped up on the top. But most of them seemed either half done or untouched. And that to me was disturbing.

How are you utilizing this time, the mental tape began. It didn’t take too long for the ‘self-critic lover’ in me to further probe and bring out an elongate check list to make me feel ashamed of a lot of other things that I wanted to do but couldn’t really tick off.

I needed to silence this voice right away. I needed some sleep, some sound sleep.

I opened my email and started typing in all that I was feeling. This blog became a result of that.

Why does everything around feel so overwhelming? Why is COVID-19 dominating every conversation I am having? Why is there some sort of constant fear lurking for no apparent reason at all? Why do I feel like a failure during a lock down and what exactly does someone on the winning side even look like? Couldn’t I have actually miscalculated how much could really be achieved during a tough, uncertain phase? I do know that not everyone can do everything flawlessly every day. Don’t I? Didn’t I know that simply keeping up with my sanity should probably be enough and it’s the hard-hitting truth when my freedom is taken away? Why am I constantly beating up myself for not excelling in every single aspect of life? What’s this damn need to try to play the perfect everything to everyone? Is a simple life filled with calmness and joy in any manner lower to a Page 3 life?

Well nobody was prepared for this. We are all scouting our ways to keep ourselves fine. There is suddenly a great reduction in the number of memes circulating around. We have at least for the moment accepted the new normal and are living it.

While some are working on bettering their crafts, some are burdened with work, some are learning new things, some are enjoying their multitasking roles, some chose to spend time helping others, some are their best chilling selves, and some are simply managing to stay afloat.

You could be anywhere in this spectrum and that’s totally acceptable. Multiple emotions, varied tasks, different perspectives, haunting numbers, burdensome expectations, no it isn’t easy to stay upbeat and frolicking all day.

At this juncture define what happiness to you is and stick to getting there. The metrics or the feelings you attach to that emotion is what it is and isn’t anything that’s prescribed on any bestseller. What you feel is what you feel and it’s just fine that people don’t understand it. Your not being extraordinary isn’t failing, your not being true to yourself is. Everyone can’t be extraordinary because then the word loses its meaning. You can be average, want to become better and strive towards it. But do it for your own sake.

Harsh times need more peace of mind than external validations. It’s absolutely fine if you aren’t able to maintain your house spic and span at all times. It’s okay if you and your spouse aren’t doing all chores together but are managing well in your own spheres. It’s okay if you are cooking one meal and carrying forward the same twice a day. It’s okay if you aren’t updated with all the details happening around the world as long as you are keeping yourself safe. It’s okay if the vessels are lying in the sink while you just want to sit back and relax for a while before completing the dish washing.It’s okay if you are trying to prepare something for the first time and it hasn’t turned out delicious. It’s okay if you don’t feel like taking on anything challenging at present. It’s okay if you feel that you are not cut out for the frantic pace of this society and don’t think you’ll be able to keep up. It’s okay if you don’t like to compete. It’s okay if you don’t have a bestseller yet out there as long as you are just writing to inspire. It’s okay if you are doing your office work followed by some household chores and feel that you can’t push yourself anymore.

If you find yourself being happy living what some might call a mediocre life, then you’re not living a mediocre life at all. You’re living a happy life which is great. Life is about living to your own expectations. Social pressure is deceiving. Life holds a hundred, a thousand, a zillion different meanings to every individual and the beauty is in abiding by your definition.

Recover the ownership of your choices and forgo the illusion of living it for others.

I’m slowly beginning to understand that I need to take my life one day at a time, one task at a time. The past is erased and the future is intangible. As long as I’m nourishing my mind and body every single day I have a lot more to be grateful for than I can see.

Because of all things dearest when in the final days, you’ll want to look back and just be happy that you were you.