A Chance To Live Differently

Spoilers Ahead for ‘ARRIVAL’ MOVIE 

I was watching the movie Arrival and seconds before Louise Banks said “Despite knowing the journey and where it leads I embrace it and I welcome every moment of it.”, I had thought to myself, if I actually had seen my whole life pan out at the time of my birth would I change any of it?

I stopped my train of thoughts at that point so I could enjoy the rest of the movie but later the question kept lingering. Would there actually be a different path that I would choose for myself? Should I have swiped left on something instead of the right that I did? 

Yes and No.

Yes, I would weed out habits that have made me want to fit in, ideologies that seemed acceptable to the world at large but not necessarily to me, selfish people who used me for their benefits, the days that I wasted without doing anything constructive, things I clung onto long after they had lost their value and meaning, beliefs that made me feel any less of myself or didn’t lead me to embrace myself and instances, where I merely existed and not lived. 

No. And strangely that’s because of all the reasons that have brought pain in my life. I have actually come to realize that through every battle that I fought, through every belittling I overcame, through every fear I lived, through every anxiety I experienced, through every discomfort I was thrown in there’s only been a stronger self on the other side. I’m not sure I would have ever appreciated the goodness that comes post facing hurdles. 

Well, it’s not to say that I don’t have regrets or have in any way lived a well chartered life but it’s in the roughest times I saw perspectives unfurling crystal clear. To date I fight from the inner childhood demons, the miscalculations of my teenage choices and the ignorance from my early youth years but yes going back there means going back to a time I don’t want to be in. If there was one way of re-living then it would definitely be to become more understanding and less judgmental.

I would have carried no resent, taken things less seriously, be the best child that an adult can be, not let go people who really mattered at some point in time, be more of me even if it meant that there would be people who won’t like it and surely be sillier.  

I wouldn’t have changed anything where destiny played its role. But, a lot many aspects in the way I responded to them 🙂 

My dear reader, what choice would you make?