Embracing The Art of Surrender

The below stanza from a prayer song was on the WhatsApp status of a friend. I immediately went on to YouTube and listened to the song a few times as tears kept rolling down. For some reason, it became a ear worm for half a day and I seemed to find some peace in listening to it.

I have been brought up in a religious god loving household. My education has been in a place where before I had experienced anything in life or knew even what life is, I was following a routine where prayers were center fold of most things we did in the day.

Over time, my relationship with God (or concept thereof) has been quite bumpy. I have had horrible tussles, friendly chats, big moments of gratitude, long seasons of silence and it’s a journey that still goes on. One thing however that is crystal clear is that there’s a higher power and there’s something unseen (could be seen for a few) that has helped me build resilience (one of my greatest strengths) in the darkest moments.

This brings me to the subject of surrender. Isn’t it amusing that while both birth and death aren’t in our control, we still try to control the events between these two?

Stories or texts we read as kids, of those mighty emperors and those grand wars end on the grounds when one side surrenders and the battle ends. The one who surrenders are supposedly weak, they have lost the battle. We tend to grow up believing that surrendering means waving the white flag of defeat, giving ourselves to some higher authority.

However, contrary to all of this, I’m trying to enjoy in the art of surrendering. When a patient lies on a hospital bed, irrespective of their backgrounds, they let the doctors take the reign. As a patient, what is in their hands is to be in a positive state of mind and then let the rest take its course.

Why We Crave Control?

Our mind works in a manner in wherein it tries to control everything. The very function of it is to hold onto the results to ensure that we are safe, we are happy and leading our best lives. In this whole process, the mind is working up strategies to create experiences that are pleasant and expel what it doesn’t want us to feel. When things are certain it’s easier to feel like we’ve got our shit together. But, the truth is about life lies in it’s uncertainty.

As humans, we all have a strong desire for certainty and control. We like to believe that we can shape all our outcomes and turn events in our favor, chalk every incident to our liking. It feels good to know that we are not under someone else’s command. How much control is wielded, it just doesn’t seem enough. You’ll only want to continue controlling the finer aspects, because it is an insatiable feeling. The belief is that the tighter I hold onto something, the more control I have over it.

And then comes a situation, when we no longer can continue the fight. It’s either too painful to keep at it or that we in our hearts know that some other unknown path is needed.

What Surrender Is Not?

Defeat. Giving up. A failure’s mindset. Inaction. An act of resignation. Feeling helpless and disempowered.

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What is Surrender?

It is to stop fighting, the internal battles you have. Letting go of the need to worry and no longer listening to the voice of fear. You don’t stop taking actions or pursuing what you love doing. You simply release your need to control when and how it happens. On a daily basis, we push, strive, prove, and drive ourselves to build, grow, and accomplish. It’s not a bad thing. Leading purposeful lives is what we ultimately strive for. However, micromanaging things beyond our realm is equal to pushing a boulder up the steep mountain. It only leaves us fatigued, depleted, and exhausted.

How Surrender Works?

Call it whatever you want -God, universe, spirit, guardian angels, angel numbers. life force, supreme consciousness; give it any form and shape but that magnificent force will work things around if you let it play it’s role while you do yours. Whether we like it or not, there will always be elements of our lives that we can’t control, no matter how carefully we plan. Difficulty and pain will be a part of our existence. So, irrespective of how frightening a future outcome may seem, being anxious about it doesn’t prevent something unwelcome from happening. It only distracts us from what we have right now: the present.

Letting go off that fear and the need to regulate tiny details of life is freeing. The mental energy and space taken in working on the minute stuff can instead by invested in valuable aspects – becoming the person you want to be and doing what you love (not controlling the output).

Letting the Act of Surrender Help You

Focus on the essence of what you want.

Happiness, Peace of mind, strong relationships, creating impact – what is it that you want to feel. Focus on that and let the higher power play its role. Sometimes, we think that happiness is out of something materialistic and we run behind that while actually it may be something else and in our chase to control we lost out on what could have got us happiness. For eg., if you want a palatial house to feel successful, operate at that level of accomplishment. It’s an action that’s under your control and you’ll also have a clearer understanding of why you want something. Do what the successful do and let the universe play it’s role in getting you the output.

Acknowledge your fears

The need to control comes from a place of fear. The fear of the unknown is a biggest hurdle. But when you are clear on what scares you, it becomes easier to prepare yourself if that does come true. Knowing that you can handle the worst-case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive and positive action.

Let the Letting Go Happen in Stages

It is not about wanting something to be a certain way, but accepting the way things are. This act of surrender happens in stages. You get rid of clinging on to your expectations a little by little starting with the smallest bit and then basking in the joy it ultimately brings you.

It’s funny that I have benefitted on many instances when it comes to surrender and yet it hasn’t seeped in completely which is why surrendering is a daily practice 🙂

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